Scathing Book Reviews of Treasure Island, by Robert Louis Stevenson

Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson was the Pirate Story that dominated pop culture until the emergence of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series. Now, Jack Sparrow is the first name in pirates, while Long John Silver is now relegated to being known more for Deep Fried “Seafood” (defined loosely) rather than “Jim feller me lad” fame. While Treasure Island still makes me want to say “Aaarrrhhh”, these reviewers give it a big “Aaarrhn’t”:

How can this possibly be a classic? Most of the time I had no idea what on earth the characters were saying. It’s all in some kind of pirate-jive lingo.

…and:

The only one I liked was Captin Flint because I like birds but besides that I wouldn’t read it!

…and:

Gag me…this novel is the epitome of boredom. I’m not a huge fan of boredom.

…and:

It is totally on a reading level for way older people. Not 7th graders.

…and:

It is no surprise that “Treasure Island” was written by Stevenson just in a few days as its carelessness and pretty bad style attest.

…and this, from someone who apparently has a Pirate lingo of his own:

AGU! Man The book is Finally over with! That was torcher PLUS the movie was violent causing me to continue screaming and my classmates thinking I was insane! I gotta piece of advice, DONT BUY THE BOOK

ADDED BONUS: Remember that September 19 is Talk Like a Pirate Day. Here’s the Talk Like a Pirate translation of Amazon.com book summary:

Ahoy, climb aboard for the swashbucklin’ ad’enture o’ a lifetime. Treasure Island has enthralled (and caused slight seasickness) for decades. The names Long John Sil’er and Jim Hawkins be destined t’ remain pieces o’ folklore for as long as children want t’ read Robert Louis Ste’enson’s most famous scribblins. Shiver me timbers, with tis’ dastardly plot and motley crew o’ rogues and ‘illains, it seems unlikely that children will e’er say no t’ this timeless classic. –C’pn Naomi Gesin’er Aye.

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