Posted on August 18, 2008 by scathingbookreviews
It’s hard for me to believe that a book named Walter the Farting Dog required two authors, particularly when, according to book reviewers, the setup and plotline seem identical to Dogbreath by Dav Pilkey of Captain Underpants fame. As for myself, I can’t believe that a book named “Walter the Farting Dog” would’ve been allowed in bookstores even as recently as the 1990s, much less the 70s back when I was a kid.
Although, perhaps there was a “farting” subtext that I didn’t recognize in my favorite children’s books. Could it be that Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel couldn’t get work was because of Mike’s tragic flatulence problems? Did the Ingalls Family keep moving because Ma and Pa had a fondness for beans that made them social pariahs? Regardless, the reviewers who left these Scathing Book Reviews of Walter the Farting Dog think the book stinks:
Unbelievable! SHAME to the publisher for actually marketing such a book! SHAME to the author who penned it! SHAME to the illustrator who drew it! And most of all, SHAME to the PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS etc. . . who actually purchased it! A waste of good timber!
…and the requisite mourning of American standards:
Ah, yes — the coarsening of American society continues. There was a time not so long ago when children were actually discouraged from engaging in potty humor because it was believed — how silly can you get? — that the goal was to raise mature people with a sense of class. Now, we’re told we should make poopie jokes with our kids and laugh right along.. . . just one more step in the process of creating a generation of low-class idiots.
To choose to encourage children to laugh at flatulence is unbelievable. My kids laugh enough at it that I feel no need to spend money to make it even funnier to them.
Yes, it’s true that kids find farts funny, but I don’t see why we should encourage rudeness and inconsideration unstead of teaching children control and respect for others. When your kid farts at the table, do you laugh and say “aw, how cute”, or do you have him/her apologize? Seems to me like all the people who love this book probably do the former.
…and I hope this review doesn’t refer that “that” F word:
What a treat–not. The author succeeds in getting cheap laughs by repeating the “F” word over and over, and by showing the mutt with clouds issuing from beneath his tail. Clever. Tacky. What was the motivation, I wonder? <shaking head>
Well, there are GOOD books and then there are BAD books. This one deserves the trash can. Pathetic and in very bad taste. Who cut the cheese, man ???
This book is a nightmare. Funny? No, please have adults sunk to this level and do they intend to teach children that this type of thing is acceptable? Oh, it’s just awful. 😦
Filed under: Children | Tagged: Book Reviews, books, Children's books, Parenting, Walter the Farting Dog | 1 Comment »
Posted on July 30, 2008 by scathingbookreviews
Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach is like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, a book that is emblematic of the 1970s, but is still read today. Its one of those books that I’ve heard of but never read, and like many who lived in Chicago in the 80s and 90s, was continually reminded of due to the presence of Rich Melman’s restaurant “Jonathan Livingston Seafood“. There was also the Jonathan Livingston Seagull Movie which I came across on Cable some years ago.
I remember seeing an English Major reading the Book back in College, and its apparently assigned reading for Junior and Senior High Schoolers. If I ever do read it, hopefully it will answer the burning question “Why do Seagulls like Parking Lots?” These Scathing Book Reviews of Jonathan Livingston Seagull think that the Seagull is really a Dead Duck:
For a long time I had suspected that America was a nation full of pathetic people desperately striving to improve their lives. This so-called book has confirmed my suspicions.
This book is a piece of trash. I feel that nothing other than such a blunt remark justifies my feelings towards this mish-mash of bogey, high-faultin’ pretention and early 70s self-help gibberish. Clearly, this tripe hooked on to the swinging trend of cascading times when mid-life crisis was hitting people from 16 to 76.
I found myself laughing out loud on numerous occasions over the course of the book… Not because the author wrote something witty or clever – but because the book continued to reach new levels of stupidity.
To pad out this lame storyline, Bach gives us a bunch of grainy pictures of birds. Too bad he doesn’t have the guts to show us birds pooping on a statue, having found TRUE enlightenment.
The only good thing you can say about this book is that it is short, so it doesn’t waste as much time as it might.
In the miasma that was the 70’s lies this book, an embarassing reminder of the culture of self-actualization that permeated that era. Deep messages? Please… After being asked to write a paper on the meaning of the “Stairway to Heaven” lyric(!), having to read this book was the last straw for our 11th grade Language Arts class.
This is a simple story. So simple in fact that you wonder why the writer got paid for it.
A friend loaned me this book once when I was going through a very rough time in my life. Somehow, the book made me feel worse, so you may wish to hold off giving a copy to someone diagnosed with depression.
…and this review, excerpted at length. I’ll lay odds he’s an Ayn Rand enthusiast:
This slimy collection of self-important piety and nonsensical bilge is one of the most horrific encapsulations of what is rotten and bad in western society today. In it, a sentient air-rat decides he’s much too important to deal with small minded concerns ke making a seagull’s living eating fish. He decides he’s some kind of artist. He meets an asian air-rat who is of course much more wise and deep than his own whitebread air-rat self, and becomes some sort of super spiritual air-rat. Not content to jockey around the entire universe like some kind of air-rat version of Padre de Pio, he returns to earth to lord it over the other air rats with his superior spiritual pose.
Filed under: Children, Fiction, Junior High & High School Assigned Reading, Movie Tie-Ins, Religious & Inspirational, Self-Help | Tagged: 70's, Book Reviews, books, Fiction, Jonathon Livingston Seagull, Junior High and High School Assigned Reading, Religious & Inspirational, Richard Bach, Self-Help, Seventies | 2 Comments »
Posted on January 3, 2008 by scathingbookreviews
Watership Down by Richard Adams will be an eye opener to those that have never had country neighbors that kept Rabbits. I will never forget going up to the cage in our neighbor’s yard to find not cute little baby bunnys but rather, a bunny version of the Silence of the Lambs. << Shudder >>. After that, I learned to watch my step around the guy playing the Easter Bunny at the mall. Also, Watership Down wasn’t the shock it could have been, and was an enjoyable read. But these reviewers would like to do to the book what my neighbor’s Rabbits did to their offspring:
I mean, who cares about a bunch of rabbits… All that happened, was rabbits did this and rabbits did that.
Who ever heard of talking and fighting rabbits anyway?
I was so angered at how the bunnues were after all just bunnies.
bunnies talk, walk, sleep, eat, and die. Wow…uh huh….that sounds fun. COME ON!!!!!
Watership Down is one of the worst books with animals as main characters I’ve ever read.
I tried reading this book. I got to page 3.
…and this review, which refers to perhaps the world’s most frequently read content on Rabbits:
Watership Downard Spiral: If this is a Watership then, for the love of Christ, somebody sink it. It should have been called “Watership Boring”, because that’s what this book is: BORING. I don’t get it. The plot’s too complicated and the rabbits are talking. Hello, author guy, can bunnies talk? NO. So unrealistic. And how am I supposed to relate to rabbits? Stupid, stupid, stupid is all that comes to mind. The only thing this book is good for is kindling. I’ve read better stories on the back of a TRIX box.
Filed under: American Classics, Children | Leave a comment »
Posted on November 10, 2007 by scathingbookreviews
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell is a classic that we’re all familiar with. OK, one that we’ve all heard of, anyway. No, its not the same as the movie The Black Stallion.
Imagine a Charles Dickens novel. Now insert a big Black Horse into the role usually played by a little boy.
Yes, THAT book. It’s a favorite of years past, and still appreciated by many, but unfortunately, these Scathing Book Reviews of Black Beauty think its all horse dung:
If somebody can tell me why this book is considered a classic I would love to know! The only thing it has that good novels have is pages!
This book is just plain boring… Black Beauty is just a little goodie-two-shoes.
…and this from a reader who asked around:
I have consulted several others and we all agree on one point: its a total waste of money, time, and effort. This book somehow managed to become a classic, proboble just because it has to do with horses.
..and some friendly advice from a student to the teachers of the world:
I dont know why this book is a classic. Trust me, it deserves a 1. For all those teachers out there, DONT BUY BLACK BEAUTY!!!
Filed under: British, British Classic Literature, Children, Family Saga, Movie Tie-Ins | Leave a comment »