Scathing Book Reviews of Angels and Demons, by Dan Brown

Angels and Demons by Dan Brown is the prequel to the book The Davinci Code.  However, the new Angels and Demons movie starring Tom Hanks is the sequel to the  The Da Vinci Code Movie. Sound confusing?  Just wait ’til you read the book.

Anyone whose read any of my little review summaries can tell that as much as I like a well written Scathing Review, I don’t really wish the author ill.  However, Dan Brown is just making too much @*%! up and passing it off as research to give him a pass.  Anyone that uses the book Holy Blood, Holy Grail as a supposedly factual foundation for their fictional story is just ~asking~ for criticism, and if that SPOILERy review at the bottom of this post is the real ending, he deserves as much grief as he can get.  The writers of these Scathing Book Reviews of Angels and Demons think the book is devilishly bad: 

There is no way you could use the words “good” and “Dan Brown’s writing” in the same sentence unless you were saying something like “Dan Brown’s writing most definitely is not good. It makes people want to gouge their eyes out.”

…and:

60 pages into the book I’ve decided the best course of action is to burn it.

…and:

The theatrical exclamations had me laughing incredulously. Example: When a woman happens upon the lone eyeball of her mutilated father, Mr. Brown (with all the grace of a third grader telling a flashlight ghost story), breathes, “She would have known that shade of hazel anywhere!” Stumbling onto a lone eyeball is commonplace, it seems. But… this eyeball looks familiar somehow… (Have we met before?) I’m waiting for this to dissolve into a Saturday Night Live sketch.

…and:

I have a bad habit. Once I start a book, I finish it, Hell or high water. Only thus can I explain how I got through this one.

…and:

This book is absolutely incompetent. People call it “fast-paced”. Well, yes but only by being corny and simple-minded. I’d have to quote extended passages to prove my point but suffice it to say that an assassin, after kinky sex, has “contented loins”.

…and:

…It came as a surprising revelation to me that a man in these United States could become a multi-millionaire writing so very poorly. My first thought was “Geez, even I can do that”. Dan Brown would be a competent copywriter for dish detergent, but he is wanting the basic descriptive powers of a fiction writer.

…and:

I realize that a great many people like Dan Brown’s books and think he is a talented author, but then again there are significant numbers of people who enjoy being peed on or watching Carrot Top, so the fact that Dan Brown is a best selling author perhaps shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does.

…and:

Dan Brown writes so terribly that he is beyond criticism. No adjective – no, string of adjectives – is too trite or cliché for him to throw in. All I can hope is that Mr. Brown made so much money off this mess of a book that he need not ever write another.

…and:

There are several murders in this book and after reading it I wished I had been one of them.

…and ending on a happy note:
This is quite possibly the worst-written book I’ve ever read. I struggled, waded, crawled and staggered my way through it. Then when I finished it – what a relief – I opened the window and threw the book out into the street. I’m very glad to say it was raining at the time. I will never read another word written by this author again. Yet, strangely, the book left me mildly optimistic: if a bestselling author can dredge up this dross, and write so appallingly badly, and get away with it, then surely there is hope for all of us.

and SPOILER ALERT, the most Scathing Book Review of all, a summary of the ending of Angels and Demons:

After the hero jumps out of a helicopter at 15,000′ using only a tarp as a parachute, surviving an anti-matter explosion on the way down, only to land safely in the river where coincidently a doctor sees him land and revives him. His third or fourth time he has escaped death today). All the while, the “pope”, who had a parachute, is pretending a miracle has happened as he has landed atop St. Peter’s to the roar of the crowd. JEEEEEEZ Get me outa here!!! Even as a movie, this would get boos.

Scathing Book Reviews of God is Not Great, by Christopher Hitchens

God is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens is the kind of book that a person can write only when you are so inexperienced in life and judgement to think you know everything, or old enough to have seen too much. I say that with all sincerity, as anyone that has experienced the inevitable tragedies that come with life have ample cause to doubt the existence of God, or at least to believe that while He exists, He doesn’t care.

Lots of people are angry at Hitchens for writing the Book, but none less angry, I’ll wager, than Sam Harriswho probably sent Hitchens a note saying “Who asked you to jump on my bandwagon, pal?” If you ask me, writing a book titled “God is Not Great” seems to be like a dare. I imagine when Hitchens titled the book he at least half thought “That’ll get the Old &$^@{! to show Himself“.

So what’s in the book? Nothing new, frankly. “The Old Testament isn’t Historically Accurate. ” No kidding. “Life Sucks and God doesn’t solve all earthly problems.” Not a revelation. “Science now shows that…” Science can’t measure what it can’t see. “Religous people do bad things.” We know that.

I like Hitchens, but let’s face it, this book is more like an honest man’s anger at God’s lack of visible presence and the distortions of organized religion than anything new. Logically, you can’t answer all of his questions, but life isn’t always logical. Anyway, these Scathing Book Reviews of God is Not Great think the book is just hellish:

If “God Is Not Great” is the best argument for atheism, it’s no wonder that so many believe.

…and:

I believe that this book is a great example of that Great American Disease; I AM AN EXPERT ON EVERYTHING. This book was a waste of the authors time, don’t make it a waste of yours.

…and:

Would have rated it “5 Steaming Piles,” but that wasn’t an option. Hitchens has become completely unhitched. Christopher is truly a zealot without an anchor… By all means, buy this book; it makes a great doorstop and conversation piece.

…and:

Welcome to the animal farm. The barnyard animals have finally taken over the farmhouse from those awful farmers, but now the pigs are dressing up like people and acting just as bad! Its humorous to see the “new atheists” embrace the same rigidity, anger, and strident dismissal of any disagreement that they find (rightly so) disturbing in religion.

…and:

The book should be re-titled, “God Is Not Great, But Christopher Hitchens Is!!!”. From what I have seen of Hitchens on C-SPAN and various TV talk shows, I would say that he embodies the worst of the personality traits of adherents that have tainted organized religion throughout history: a pompous sense of self-certainty about everything, an absolute black & white view of morality, a strong tendency to label common human failings as pure evil, a propensity to demonize & vilify persons with whom he differs (e.g., Clinton, Kissinger, Mother Teresa), a dogmatic confidence in his own grasp of empirical data and ethical inferences therefrom.

…and:

Dude, God exists! How can this guy even say she doesn’t? He drinks alot and has a puffy nose. I hear Jesus talking to me every day, so he must be wrong.

…and:

I expected reasoned argument from an intellectual. Instead, what I received were half-arguments and half-truths from a half-wit.
…and:

You think by writing this garbage he’s going to change thousands of years of religion. Sounds full of himself to me! Have fun in Hell!

…and:

Another book written by an author who knows absolutely nothing about the subject he writes about!! Followed by reviews from people who know less than the author!

…and a review title that must irk the BeJesus out of Hitchens:

The Sean Hannity of Atheists